Did you have a neighbor try to dump their kid or kids off on you?

A neighbor kept dumping her kid on me. At first it was the mom who kept asking me to look after the kid, then it morphed into the kid dumping herself on me, or a combination of the two of them, I’m not sure. The girl was 9 years old, and I didn’t want to fall out with my neighbors, so I agreed to look after her a few times.

At first I didn’t mind her coming round, but then I got sick of it happening every week or even twice a week. I’m not her dad; I didn’t want to have responsibility for her. I’d done my years of parenting and enjoyed it, but to keep having to look after a neighbor’s kid just got annoying.

She would just come round, knock on the door, and when i opened the door, she’d just come on in, even if I said I was busy. She’d say she was hungry and I felt duty bound to feed her. Her dad wasn’t around much, so I think maybe she latched onto me as a surrogate father.

But i was getting sick of her constant visits, and I’d try to get rid of her. Sometimes when i wanted alone time, I’d pull down the blinds on the front window and when I heard a knock I’d look through the spyhole in the door and if I saw it was her, i wouldn’t open the door. I felt a bit like a prisoner in my own home, and I’m sure she or her mom would look out the window, and notice me coming home, because sure enough, a couple of minutes after I arrived home, there’d be a knock. I’d ignore her more when she did come round. I stopped giving her favorite food, and gave her foods she was less keen on. I kept telling her mom to tell the girl to stop coming round. I even told it to the girl. After a while, she came round less, and finally stopped coming round altogether, and i was glad. She’d been coming round around once a week for about 18 months. Finally I could enjoy my own time again.

I thought that was the end of it till a one day a couple of years later, the cops came round and arrested me for sexually assaulting the girl. I don’t know whether the girl was annoyed at me for being a bit rude and telling her to stop coming round, or what, but all i know is that I never laid a finger on her. The cops searched my apartment, took all my DVDs, and seized my phone and computer to look for child porn (they found none, because I’m not a pervert). But in these post-Weinstein, post-Jimmy-Savill, post-#metoo days, that wasn’t enough to exonerate me, and this girl’s say-so was her word against mine, and the fact that I – a middle-aged single man – had had a preteen girl visiting me once or twice a week was apparently enough “evidence” to go to trial with. I couldn’t believe it, and nor could my new wife or my family. I kept thinking I’d wake up and realize it was all a nightmare. But no.

A year later I was on trial for statutory rape (sexual activity with a child), all because I was kind enough to look after a neighbor’s kid a few times, and too weak-willed to turn her away.

Now she was a teenager, and gave “evidence” against me, most of which was a complete fabrication. What could I say other than it never happened? I knew I never did anything, but couldn’t prove I never did it. Thankfully, testimony from my own children and grandchildren, my wife and my ex wife, female work colleagues and friends all helped to show that i am a good guy, trustworthy and decent around kids, and I have never committed a crime of any type, much less a sex crime against a child. Having a computer and cellphone free from child porn also helped show I’m not into that sort of thing, and I condemn anyone who is.

The jury reached a verdict in 25 minutes, and i was acquitted.

But as with all these things, it was a big news article in the local rag when I was put on trial, and a tiny three-line mention when I was found innocent. Thankfully, my family and friends have been wonderful throughout, and my relationship with my kids and grandkids is as strong as ever.

It later transpired —but couldn’t be mentioned during the trial— that this girl had also accused her father, a teacher, and her own attorney in the trial, of sexually assaulting or abusing her. She even put in a complaint against the cop who took her statement! I don’t know what is going on in her mind, and i probably never will. I just wish I’d never met her. I’d moved house by the time of the trial, so never had to see her again.

All of that happened because I agreed, out of kindness and pity, to look after a neighbor’s kid a few times. Clearly no good deed goes unpunished! All I can say is that if a neighbor ever asks me again to look after their kid, the answer will be a loud resounding “no”.